It's okay Mom

I took Faith to school yesterday morning and walked her to class, which is what we do every morning. Her teacher has asked the parents to really encourage the children to walk to class on their own. It's a work in progress. Just before we got to the door, she stopped and looked at me with her hand on her hip, "Mommy, I'm big now."

I thought to myself....Yes, I know that you are big now, but it seems like you were a tiny infant in my arms just last night.

I agreed with her and proceeded to walk to her classroom and she stopped me, "Mommy I need to walk by myself to class, I'm big."

....oh, you're just saying that because you know that's what we're working towards, you really aren't ready for that yet.

I told her it was a great idea, but I was thinking she would disagree and we would take those last three steps to her classroom. She had a different plan. She walked me back to the door that seperates the foyer and the hallway. I guess you could call it the "middle ground" between the students and the parents. The line between infancy and childhood, another symbol of your child gaining the independence that you so longed for them to have as a baby, but that you
really weren't ever ready to let them have.
As I stood there at the door, watching her walk up that big empty hallway all by herself, it kind of hit me that she really is a child now, she's not a toddler anymore. When did that change? Sounds rather silly, I'm sure. I know she's been growing up, but I saw her as a child for the first time today, not a baby, not a toddler...but a child.
Of course, she'll always be my precious little baby, but those days are gone.

She stopped about halfway to her classroom and looked back at me. She turned and walked in my direction.

....she's changed her mind, sigh of relief, she really tried, she wanted to do it's okay, tell her good job and maybe she'll try again tomorrow....

As she sighs and stops about two feet from where I am standing...
"It's okay Mom, go to work now, I'll be fine."
"Ok. I'm going to work. I love you."
"I love you too Mama, bye"

I turn and walk away, but sneek a peek at her as she is just turning into the doorway of her classroom.

There she goes with her pink backpack and popple hanging out of the pocket......
that's my little girl......that's my little girl growing up.


Jo' said...

Oh my goodness. I can barely read this story without getting teary eyed. She's getting so big. It's so hard to let them grow up I'm sure. My day is comming. I noticed when I talked to her on the phone that she is sounding more and more grown up every day. She's doing so great with learning her Bible versus. I'm soo proud of her!

Ben said...

Jen- wow I know what your going through. Its tough!! Ben just got on to me yesterday for not letting Jake walk to his own classroom.. so today he was taking him and making him go in by himself... I cant stand it for some reason.. but Im having to let go as well!! Its tough. Ben is scared Im gonna make him too dependent on me and he is probably right. I dont see what the big deal is!! :)