Hope Floats

I used to watch this movie thinking how thankful I was that I never had to go through something like that. I couldn’t imagine how that woman felt and how that little girl was hurting. I wanted to climb through the television screen and wrap my arms around those two girls and just hold them tight.

The story of “Hope Floats” – in a nutshell:

Birdie, a seemingly happily married woman moves back home after her husband admits to having an affair. She struggles with the emotions associated with failed marriage – alongside her young daughter, Bernice. Bernice misses her father and struggles with who to blame for what has happened. The entire town knows what happened to her, which makes the process even more trying for her. Birdie finds that having once been the most popular girl in school may have left a bitter feeling among many of her old school mates, who can’t help but to rub it in her face that her life is no longer “perfect”. Meanwhile, an old friend, Justin enters her life sparking romance. Bernice tries to halt any of Justin’s attempts to love her Mother. And while his intentions are clear and good, Birdie struggles with the decision to let him fully into her life.

I recently watched this movie again – this time with an entire different mind set. I actually know now what this feels like. I know the midnight cries and closing everybody out of my life. I know how hard it is to open up to the idea of love again. I know that doing so also opens the heart up to being hurt again – and that isn’t something that seems okay. I know the emotional struggle that a little girl faces when her parents get divorced and I know the constant balancing act that the Mom must walk to keep her daughter from falling apart.

There was a time when I had wished that I didn’t know all of these things. That maybe it would have been better if he had never told me. Maybe life wouldn’t be so sad, so empty….so lonely. I have been “alone” a lot in my adulthood. But lonely…..that is not something that I do well. Lonely makes me sad.

I don’t feel that way anymore. When my world came crashing down around me and it seemed like I was drowning in a sea of anger, mistrust, sadness and confusion – I still had hope. Hope that things would someday change. That life wouldn’t feel so awful anymore. That my daughter would have good days – smile, laugh and play like a child should. That she wouldn’t continue to worry constantly about things that a little girl should never have to think about. Hope that I would someday open up to the idea of loving and being loved again. Hope that I would be able to trust again.

I guess the title to the movie is right.
Hope does float.

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